Between a thousand and two thousand years ago, the language of the Romans was certainly the central element in the development of the entities we now call the “Romance languages”.

In some important sense, Latin drifted among the Lusitani into “Portuguese”, among the Dacians into “Romanian”, among the Gauls and Franks into “French”, and so on. It is certainly worthy of speculation, therefore, to wonder whether American English might become simply “American”, and be an entirely distinct language in a century’s time from British English.

The historical evidence disputes such an event. The Roman language used as a communicative bond among the citizens of the Roman Empire was not the Latin recorded in the scrolls and codices of the time. The masses used popular or vulgar (common people) Latin, and were apparently extremely diverse in their use of it, intermingled with a wide range of other vernaculars. The Romance languages derive, not from the gracious tongue of such literati [literate] as Cicero and Virgil, but from the multifarious usages of a population most of whom were illitarati [illiterate].

Classical Latin Remained Stable Because it Was a Written and Not Destabilized by Being Primarily a Spoken Language

Classical Latin had quite a different history from the people’s Latin. It did not break up, but as a language standardized in written format evolved in a fairly stately fashion into the ecclesiastical and technical medium of the Middle Ages, sometimes known as “Neo Latin”.

One writer suggested that this “Learned Latin” survived as a monolith through sheer necessity, because Europe was a “morass of hundreds of languages and dialects, most of them never written to this day”. Learned Latin derived its power and authority from not being an ordinary language. “Devoid of baby talk” and “a first language to none of its users”, it was “pronounced across Europe in often mutually unintelligible ways but always written the same way”.

The Latin analogy as a basis for predicting one possible future for English is not very useful, if the assumption is that once upon a time Latin was a mighty monolith that cracked because people did not take proper care of it. That is a false assumption. Interestingly enough, however, a Latin analogy might serve us quite well if we develop the idea of a people’s (vulgar) Latin that was never at any time particularly homogeneous, together with a text-bound learned Latin that became and remained something of a monolith because European society needed it that way.

Grammar Knows Best—Most of the Time!

Too often people consider “proper grammatical usage” too academic and not all that important; however, we can avoid confusions in English if we learn to use it properly.


• Who cares whether people say, “There are less people here than yesterday,” or “There are fewer people here than yesterday”?

  Less versus fewer: Suppose you are the President of the United States. You are in the middle of a gigantic domestic crisis, and you do not want to be over whelmed with routine reports from the Pentagon. So you tell an aide, “Bring me less military reports.”

  A few minutes later, the aide interrupts you with this message from the Pentagon: “Yo, Prez! All of our big gray boats are floating safely at anchor. Nuthin’ much doing.”

  You are furious, but you have no one to blame except yourself. When you called for “less military reports”, your aide thought you wanted the regular Pentagon reports to be less military in character.

  You should have said, “Fewer military reports.”

  
  
• What difference does it make if we use like versus as if? Imagine that you are an experienced brain surgeon who is supervising a young-medical resident in her first operation. She is about to perform a difficult procedure that she has never done before, and you want to give her some confidence. “Do it like you have done it before,” you tell her.

  “But I have never done it before!,” she blurts out, now shaking and nervous. “I thought you knew that!”

  You are astonished, but it is your fault. When you told the resident to, “Do it like you have done it before,” she thought you meant, “Do it in the same way you did it before.”

  You should have said, “Do it as if you have done it before.”

  
  
  

  ---

  
  

  Do you have a dictionary? When in doubt about words, you do have your own dictionary so you can look them up, don’t you? It is essential that you have at least one good dictionary for your personal use so you can avoid the use of confusing words and be prepared to control other vocabulary challenges.

A sportswriter who described a happy scene as a football place-kicker clinched a gridiron victory wrote that, the kicker “threw his arms up in a jester of triumph.” Not funny, pal. That was a gesture (movement to express a thought) of triumph.

United Press International reorted a boating accident that left a passenger “clinging to the bough”. That should be bow (front of a boat or ship) that rhymes with cow.

A newspaper quoted a rhetorical question from a retired athletic coach: “What good does it do you to horde the knowledge you pick up through the years?” How about hoard (accumulate and hiding) instead of horde (large group or crowd).

An investors’ newsletter told of a man who “starts his day pouring over the morning papers” and a newspaper reported that a professional coach spends many hours “pouring over film”. Pouring (flowing from a container, as a liquid) would result in wet paper and wet film; unless these guys were poring (reading or studying carefully) over them.

An advertisement for riding mowers strives “to peak your interest”. A newspaper reader said that “pellet stoves have peaked our interest”. A newspaper headline writer looked too quickly at a story about a real estate deal: “U.S. 1 Corner Lot Peeks Interest”. It is possible that interest can indeed be peaked as it rises to its highest level; however, before our interest peaks, it must first be piqued (provoked, aroused).

A Massachusetts American Automobile Association listed members of an “honor role”. A Cleveland newspaper covered “drug-pedaling operations”. UPI reported a small riot in Philadelphia following the Mets’ failure to win a pennant-clinching game: A 24-year-old was arrested “when he refused to disburse”. Well, good drivers strive for an honor roll; criminals peddle drugs; and while a crowd can be dispersed, it is doubtful that an individual Mets fan can be dispersed.

Note: role = a part that one plays; pedaling = foot operated lever; disburse = to pay out money.

From a West coast newspaper came a story about a professional guide. Hundreds of sportsmen are “clambering for a reservation on one of his fall hunting trips for elk or deer”. To clamber is to scramble awkwardly; to clamor is to cry loudly and insistently for something.

In Portland, Oregon; a reviewer had words of mild praise for a book on how to get organized. “Actually, this is a rah-rah kind of book, designed to motivate people to clean up their act for their own piece of mind and for those who live with them”.

An editor should have given the writer a piece of his mind for the peace of our minds.

A clipping from an Indiana newspaper reported good news for the local fire department. Moose Lodge No. 1160 recently purchased “a heavy-duty, 8,000-pound wench for installation on Rescue 21 truck”. Anything to make the boys happy at the firehouse.

An 8,000-pound wench would be just a bit over weight, wouldn’t she? Under the circumstances, what do you think they would rather have; a wench (woman servant) or a winch (machine for hoisting or hauling)?

You may return to the lists of Word Files, Group E from here.